An Account of My Captain
by Murayama-Tsuru
Summary: A short-ish oneshot from Abuto's perspective because living with Kamui sounds worse than any punishment I can think of.


**_Hello, it's been awhile, I'm Murayama Tsuru (for those who are new). This time I decided to try writing something about Gintama. I really love this series so I wanted to write something for it. It's Abuto because there isn't enough about him in Fanfiction world and because I think Abuto's a pretty cool guy (especially because he has to deal with Kamui all the time!) So please enjoy._**

**Disclaimer: Gintama is the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. If it were mine, Gin-chan's past would already be revealed, Kamui and Takasugi would appear more often, and I would not torture the poor Shogun as much.**

Let me ask you a question, what's worse? Having a homicidal psychopathic fighter as your boss or being the one of the people said fighter wants to fight? Stumped? Don't worry, it's just a quiz. Well for those who want to know my answer, it's the first because I work for the psychopathic red-haired kid (don't tell him I said that, he'd probably kill me). If you haven't guessed, I'm the Yato Abuto who works for the captain of the 7th squad of Harusame, Kamui. Honestly, my life has just been one big pain in the ass since he became captain. First he chose me and Ungyou to accompany him on his mission to earth to investigate the Night King, Hosen. Then I lose an arm and Ungyou loses his life when we're trying to stop them from fighting. If you ask me, that idiot shouldn't have started the fight in the first place, but I'm not Kamui and no one asked me. After that I end up fighting Kamui's sister, who's his complete opposite but has the same fighting ability when she loses herself. And after the whole ordeal of me falling off the roof to save her and that glasses-brat, my annoying captain decides to pursue the insane idea of becoming the pirate king and that he needs me. Why, I ask you did he decide to become the pirate king? Just because I said it doesn't mean he needs to do it! At least he admits that he has no talent for political matters and needs me. But really, he just gives me all the work while he goes off on, what seems to me as, random killing sprees whenever we're on a planet for work.

Another annoying thing about him is that he's always smiling and he eats way too much. Yes, us Yato tend to eat a lot, but by any Yato standards, he eats a huge amount. The smiling is what truly irks me though, because you can never get a handle on what he's really thinking. One time I asked him about his family and he just grinned at me and asked what we were having for dessert. Was he mad at me, I couldn't tell (thinking back, though, that smile did seem more sad than crazy). There are some times, though, when you know exactly what he's thinking when he's smiling. So, when we passed by the one-eyed Samurai in a butterfly Kiono (I think that's what they're called) smoking a pipe I knew exactly what he was thinking. Kamui clearly wanted to fight this guy, I really would have dissuaded him from it, but I can't so I just sigh and hope things turn out for the best. And this, after learning that the once beautiful Kada had embezzled money from the Harusame after failing some mission on earth (something about two silver haired guys fighting to save some place called Kabuki Cho). It seemed to me like I was heading into an unlucky patch, and I was right. Next thing I know I'm being told to destroy purple-Kiono's group, the Kiheitai, ship. And Kamui wants to kill the leader himself, so I head out with the fleet. I was expecting this to be easy, but no, when we get there most of the frikkin' Harusame is there waiting to ambush us. Really, it's just my luck this would happen. And, for a moment of pure frustration, I really wished Kamui was having as hard a time as I was. As I'm about to give the order to attack (becuase they are shooting at us), I see a small ship with a white flag coming toward us. Turns out it's one of purple-Kiono's followers. He tells us his boss, Takasugi (guess I heard it wrong, I thought his name was Bakasugi), wants us to work with him on destroying Edo. Knowing Kamui would be excited with this deal, I agree without a second thought. I asked, then, what to do about the rest of the Harusame and this guy, Takechi (calls himself a feminist, looks more like a pedo to me) says kill them; they're on Admiral Abou's side (they call him Admiral Aho, quite funny if you ask me, I believe that was something my idiot captain started). Then I learn that we were sent here as a trap to kill both us and Kamui by admiral Aho (my mistake, Abou) because he thought we were too influential. So, feeling like Caprtain Kamui, I smile and tell the rest of the crew not hold back. I mean, I should get some fun too right?

We got back right in time to see both captain Kamui and Takasugi killing their would be executioners. So, we got the joy of helping them kill anyone else in the way (I don't know if help is the right word, they probably could have done fine on their own). If you think I was expecting thanks for "rescuing" my captain, you'd be wrong. The first thing he said to me was "Where'd Admiral Aho go, Abuto?" I sighed and pointed in the direction I saw he ran off to earlier. I'm quite pleased to say that Admiral got exactly what he deserved. Those who run away from a battle, winning or losing, don't get any respect from the Yato who would rather die a fabulously bloody death in the end than run away.

Now, I get to deal with negotiations because Kamui can't be bothered. Neither can the leader of the Kiheitai it seems because I get the immense pleasure of dealing with this weirdo wearing headphones and not paying attention. He keeps going on about this "idol" Terakado Tsu. Why him? Does Takasugi have something against me? Whatever, it seems a lot better than the screeching I hear from the room over. I asked Kamui about it later and he said it was some blond lady with an obvious crush on her leader. So now, we're heading back to earth. Great, more pain. With my luck, we'll run into this silver-haird Samurai captain Kamui is always talking about (I think his name is Kintoki. That's rather ironic, he has silver hair but his name means gold. Or, I might have heard it wrong again.) Oh well, life is full of choices and I've made mine. I've decided to follow my idiot captain because I have nothing better to do. Still, though, I really wish he'd learn to stop picking fights with every strong person he meets. And did I hear him call himself Admiral Baka? Baka? Seriously...

Sigh, it's going to be a long trip.

**_Well, I hope you enjoyed, I've been wanting to write this for a while because I love Gintama so much. And yes, before you say anything I know Kimono is not Kiono, I just wanted Abuto to have just a little bit of a quirk with remembering things about earth. Also, for those who don't know Baka and Aho both mean stupid. It's like in English how there are variations like stupid or idiot. If you want, please review, 'tis much appreciated (even if it's just to tell me what I did wrong)._**

**_-Murayama Tsuru_**


End file.
